Then I Had My Own Baby
Transitions. Do you love or hate them? I find some people are very much pro change and others are change adverse. I would fall in the latter category, hands down.
After having our son Jack, I decided to leave my corporate Human Resources job in oil and gas and stay home full-time with my baby. My idea was that I would be this amazing mother, wife, and, as an added bonus, take the world by storm with my amazing art business—all without any real struggle or difficulty.
Because, in my head, I thought keeping a baby would be easy. Those moms that say, “I have no time!” I really thought, and I mean really, really thought, that they all must be doing it wrong. It’s a little baby! They sleep all the time! I will have all the time in the world to do whatever I want.
It will be like a nonstop vacation—taking naps, painting world changing artwork, and snuggling an adorable baby.
But then I had my own baby.
I quickly realized what everyone says is true. It is amazing how much time and attention these little suckers require! Jack is my new boss. And let me tell you something, my new boss is demanding!
I can say with 100% confidence that he is the most demanding boss I have ever had.
Cue somewhat of an identity crisis.
I spent the better part of my twenties single and focused on moving up the corporate ladder. Sure, I loved art and would have moments that I envied my artistic friends that took risks and focused on honing their craft from day one, but ultimately, I wanted to: (a) fund my life and not stress about finances, and (b) get married and have a family.
Now I essentially have everything I ever wanted when I was young. Hooray! But perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I now have everything I thought was the perfect life (#goals) when I was young, single, and ignorant. 😊
I remember my dad, telling people that would ask what I was going to do after college, “Oh Amy? I think she will marry maybe a doctor or a lawyer and just kind of paint and work out.” Ha! I remember being a little perturbed by this comment, especially since I was a business and studio art major at The University of Texas at the time.
To my dad’s credit, he had a point. I had always had other interests and wasn’t sure if the corporate world was ever going to be my true calling. I did know, however, that while in that corporate world, I wanted to do my absolute best.
Needless to say, I was pretty jazzed at being afforded the opportunity to take this risk to leave my HR gig and focus on my family and my true passion—creating art.
What I didn’t realize in this transition to stay-at-home mom/aspiring artist was that I would suffer from loads of identity issues and self-doubt!
The Lord has used this in my life to reveal to me that I have put too much significance on my accomplishments. I have let the years of pursuing all “A’s” in academics and excellence in the workplace define me far more than I should. The process of having that stripped away from me has been difficult and painful.
I’m writing this to you all now, while I am still in the midst of adjusting to this transition. I’ve made some progress, sure, but it’s a journey! I do personally think if Jack could talk to me, he would probably say, “Oh mom. You are so incredible. It is truly amazing how you change my diaper. Your technique is A+. I love when you call my bottle a ‘ba ba’. That is so cute and clever. You really are exceeding my expectations. You’re pretty much the best ever at this.” You know, stuff like that.
God is teaching me that my worth and identity can truly only be found in Him. When I place it in something temporal, I am destined to be upset and unhappy.
"Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God."
This verse has been convicting. What am I setting my heart on? Is my only purpose to garner more achievements, more sales, more likes on my Instagram posts, etc.? Or is there more to the story here? Furthermore, my life is hidden in Christ. God looks at me in Christ and calls me worthy. He calls me enough, because of Jesus!
Perhaps today you find yourself in a season of transition. Maybe it is similar to mine or maybe it is completely different. I encourage you to rest in the fact that God has you where he wants you. There is purpose in the particular phase you are currently facing. Set your sights on the things above and free yourself up to find God’s purpose in your transition. And don’t forget that the Christian life is not a destination, it is a journey.
I needed this today, Ames! Thanks!
Happy to hear it. Thanks for reading. 🙂
Love this! Thanks for being so transparent and for the great reminder that our worth is in Christ alone, nothing else. I’ve found that when I put my self-worth in things or even relationships, outside of Jesus, they end up becoming idols. No bueno! Congrats on the new blog. I look forward to the next one. Hugs to you, Jack and Travis!
Spot on!! Thank you for your kind words!
Love this and love your heart!! And I know FOR SURE that’s what baby Jack is thinking! 🤍
Thanks girl!!! 🙂 love you!
I really needed this, today. Thank you for providing this perspective.
Thank you for sharing this with me! I need the perspective all the time!
Ty for that word I was having a rough afternoon God bless
Thank you. I’m honored to know it was an encouragement to you!
Sweet beautiful Amy. You are learning now what I wished I had learned at your age. You are very talented (like your whole family). Pray, stay the path and writing might be your next journey. My name is Annita Gentry. I’m a Vision Partner at FHH.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I still have a ways to go…baby steps!
Great reflection and lesson for moms at any stage of raising kids. All of this is something I really relate to esp how painful it is to leave our previous “identity”. I was really grieving it for many months. Thanks for Sharing and encouraging!
I’m so glad to know I’m not alone! Thank you for your kind words!
Wonderful! What a message for our young families. Amy, in every decade of life, the same changes happen. And the answer is the same: Through Christ. I am 83.
I believe that for sure! Thank you for reading and for your support and encouragement. 🙂
Just a reminder, Amy. You are creating the best piece of artwork ever. You are molding someone’s future husband. No other piece of art will be that valuable, ever.
Love that perspective!!! Amen!!! Thank you! 🙂
Whether your a young mother or older mother we all loose or identity at times. This is a wonderful reminder to all. I certainly needed this, thank you for sharing!!
Thank you!! I feel I need this reminder daily – thankfully His mercies are new every morning!!!!
You are an amazing woman. This touched my old heart.
You are so kind! Thank you for your encouragement!
Amy I am so proud of you. You are a wonderful person. Travis and jack are blessed. Always remain in the center of Gods Will and your identity to yourself and others will be amazing.
You are so sweet! Thank you so much! Love you!
That was very well written. We all evolve as we get older and enter different stages. I know you are and will be a fantastic mom.
Thank you so much! Growing in it each day, I hope!!!